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{the “p” word}

06.26.12

I believe that we all struggle with it, in some way or another.  The “P” word- perfection.  I’ve shared my heart about my struggle with perfection here before, and I’m definitely currently in another season of battling it.  We are in the full swing of the “busy season“.  And to be honest, it’s kind of kicking me in the butt right now.  I am exhausted {pretty much constantly}, I am easily overwhelmed with how much must get done and how much I desire to get done in a day or week, and I am struggling with balancing it all.  As I have also mentioned before, when my posts here are few and far between you can be assured that it is because I am in one of those times that I feel like I’m starting to drowned.

With all those feelings comes guilt.  I feel guilty and sorrowful that I am not here as often as I would like to be; though I know that no one reading really has any expectations of me.  Rather, it is more that people find it a treat and a delight when I do post- whether that is daily, weekly, or a couple times a month.  It’s just that darn perfection gets in the way.

I want to share something that is meaningful and worth my time and yours.  So I put this pressure on myself to share some awesome snippet of our life for each post.  And when I can’t, I simply just don’t post anything; because it’s not up to my standard or hopes.  This is ridiculous.  It proves that my compass is off.  Once I take a moment to rest, to focus on me and what I need to nourish my soul, mind, and body, then I am able to see through the fog of perfection.  It is probably healthy for me when I am taking a break from blogging each day because it allows me to remember that I truly desire to have this blog be a restful and creative outlet for me, more than I am doing this for anyone else.  I’m hoping that at some point during my break times that I will not be so ridden with guilt though ;)

All of you encourage me, inspire me, and have made me see that who I am and what we do is valuable.  I cannot express fully how much the community that has grown here means to me.  I absolutely love it!  And because I feel and believe that there is true relationship here between you and I, I find myself feeling the need to explain why I have been absent- almost like one best friend explaining to the other.

With all that said, in an effort and a sort of exercise I am going to try to post some “imperfect” posts during this busy season :)  Maybe it will free me up and I’ll realize I really do have more time then I think I do.  And maybe it won’t.  Thanks for sticking with me on this journey!  It’s a fun one for sure, but it’s also a real one.  And no one is perfect, and we never will be.  However we can all strive for excellence, and what that looks like for each person and each season will always be different.  And that is a truly beautiful thing.

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21 Comments leave one →
  1. 06.26.12 8:31 AM

    I love imperfect.

  2. 06.26.12 8:50 AM

    Hey, thanks so much for today’s post! I’ve been stressing about the same thing! I’m caught in the middle between taking care of my home, getting up to the new farm which needs a lifetime of attention, the bees, and making/selling stuff to pay for it all. Yet I stress out about my blog posts. Now I will take a deep breath and know that I’m not alone in this.

    Thank you, thank you!! No get out there and feed the chickens!

    • 06.28.12 8:35 AM

      You definitely are not alone!! I realize when I am super stuck in my head and stressing out a ton, that if I can express my feelings and struggles {even here on the blog} that I will be amazed and encouraged by how many others are struggling with a similar thing. It really does help to see that others, that you may think have it all together, actually don’t either. Like I said, no one is perfect :) All the best to you and balancing all the balls you juggle! Take care!

  3. 06.26.12 9:28 AM

    Beautiful pictures, as always! Thanks for sharing so openly, Alicia. I think we all struggle with keeping up the appearance of perfection. I’ve seen a theme of “summer confessions” running through the blogging world this summer, so maybe you’re not alone. I love seeing other people’s “real.” Maybe I should show pictures of my insanely unorganized and messy sewing space?? ;) Love your heart, girl!

  4. 06.26.12 10:25 AM

    I agree- I love seeing the real stuff because we seldom show it! Hang in there and realize everyone around you has something messy going on, too!

  5. 06.26.12 11:51 AM

    @usual bliss – well said!

  6. Pamela Pestalozzi permalink
    06.26.12 12:23 PM

    Goddaughter-you are a delight! The “one day at a time” motto is something I must say to myself, over and over. As usual I love reading your writings and seeing your pictures. love you much!

  7. 06.26.12 2:12 PM

    I went through something similar around 30. It took a counselor to remind me I’m not superwoman and I don’t have to be. So for the past 20 years, I’ve just done the best I could at being the best me I can be at any given time. I’ve also learned that sometimes I am a better me than I am at others and it’s OK!

    • 06.27.12 12:16 PM

      I agree – you cannot do it all, even if you’d like to. You guys have taken on a big project with the awsome new CSA plan, and it’s going to take a lot of energy. If you check Kristin Kimball’s blog, she hasn’t posted in a couple of weeks – and think of how established they are and of the army of help they have. And she’s a professional writer. If she’s finding the days a bit too full for blogging, I think it gives you permission too…there’s a time and a season for everything, and this is the time for being out there, not on the keyboard.

      • 06.28.12 8:28 AM

        That is so good for me to hear! Thank you!! I have a hard time giving myself permission in anything- this is something I’m realizing that could go a long way if I can embrace it :) Thank you again.

    • 06.28.12 5:49 AM

      I am totally learning that right now! I am working on actually finding out who I am and what great things I have to offer in this life. My perspective of what is of worth and valuable is definitely skewed and this time of my life where I am trying to calibrate my compass is challenging- but oh so worth it and oh so needed :) it is tough but I know this season will pass. Thanks so much for your support and encouraging words!

  8. 06.26.12 6:59 PM

    Loving your photos – cute babies:)

  9. 06.27.12 8:17 AM

    Hi Alicia! Great post that sums up what I think many of us feel…So much pressure to perform and be “perfect” at it all. It is definitely something that I struggle with, as a mom and a farmer. To juggle all the aspects of life and be good at it is not an easy task. If it is any consolation, your farm is amazing! I’m really sorry that I missed you on our visit. I did meet Tyler’s brother, Kyle, and I looked around and was really impressed with everything you are doing, and doing very well.

    • 06.28.12 8:27 AM

      Thank you Hilary! It will definitely be a life long journey of finding the balance of everything :) I’m sorry to hear I missed you as well, but glad someone was here to point you in the right direction. If you come again, hopefully I’ll be here :)

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